TO USERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT GETTING A DOG...... You should call him "stains" so when your at the park and your calling him over to fetch you say: "CUM STAINS, COME STAINS"

a lil boy asks his dad,dad whats between moms legs? he says,ohhh son that paradise,lil boy says,dad whats between ur legs? dad says,ohh son the keys to paradise,lil goy looks up at him an says,well dad,i think you better change the locks cuz the meighbour has a set of keys lol

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. Standing in front of St. Peter, he says to Henry "you were such a good man and gave the world such a great invention I'm going to let you see any person in heaven you would like." Well Henry thinks about this for a second and says "I would like to meet Adam ...Read more

Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt cheek. The...Read more

Two guys are walking down the street and they see a dog licking his balls.

One friend turns to the other and says "I wish I could do that."

The other guys says "You may want to pet him first! "

Found carved into a Tombstone:

Here lies the remains of Screwy Dick

Who was blessed at birth with a corkscrew prick

His live was spent in a futile hunt

To find a girl with a corkscrew cunt

He finally found her and then dropped dead...

"Cause that...Read more